Our last letter to you

Well, the letters may end, but you will always be in our hearts as a family. You are a blessed little girl that has people on both sides of the world fighting for what's best for you. Today, is the end. Our agency has worked tirelessly and US government did as well. In the end, it came down to the orphanage to make the decision and they made it. They would not remove you from the home. God made it clear to us that you were not the child that needed us, but there is a child out there who does. Millions of broken children who need the love of a family - just waiting. Our love for you is apparent because we grieved this week like I've never had to grieve. I screamed, hyperventilated and cried for days. It was never about us. This adoption was always about you. We mourned for your say.. and you never got it. Love isn't selfish and we wouldn't partake in a custody battle - that would defeat the whole purpose of our adoption. We made it clear to the agency that they would have to make the call because we would never abandon you. Ever. So, today is a new day. We are healthy and trusting God's plan. We will always ache for you. You grew in our hearts for 10 months. It's like a preganacy that was overdue. You're gone, but never forgotten. we wish you the best. We never asked God"why" and we won't. Maybe our purpose was to be able to comfort others,such as Nancy did with me on the phone. After that call from a mother that went through this, clarity came. So, now the story is continuing, but this chapter is closed. We have a rainbow child out there that will appear after the storm. My biggest wish is to maybe meet you one day in heaven. I will pray that Christ makes a presence in your life and I get to be with you someday. I love you, Lily. Your name was based off of our worries and when we found your name, our worries about your adoption melted away. You grew our trust in the Lord. We smile when we think of how you changed us. You did much more for us than we ever knew possible. We grieved and fought and grieved and fought some more. Consider the lilies.... trust... always. I will trust that He walks with you in your life. We love you and hope you are a treasured daughter in China.

Love,
Your biggest prayer warrior