Our last letter to you

Well, the letters may end, but you will always be in our hearts as a family. You are a blessed little girl that has people on both sides of the world fighting for what's best for you. Today, is the end. Our agency has worked tirelessly and US government did as well. In the end, it came down to the orphanage to make the decision and they made it. They would not remove you from the home. God made it clear to us that you were not the child that needed us, but there is a child out there who does. Millions of broken children who need the love of a family - just waiting. Our love for you is apparent because we grieved this week like I've never had to grieve. I screamed, hyperventilated and cried for days. It was never about us. This adoption was always about you. We mourned for your say.. and you never got it. Love isn't selfish and we wouldn't partake in a custody battle - that would defeat the whole purpose of our adoption. We made it clear to the agency that they would have to make the call because we would never abandon you. Ever. So, today is a new day. We are healthy and trusting God's plan. We will always ache for you. You grew in our hearts for 10 months. It's like a preganacy that was overdue. You're gone, but never forgotten. we wish you the best. We never asked God"why" and we won't. Maybe our purpose was to be able to comfort others,such as Nancy did with me on the phone. After that call from a mother that went through this, clarity came. So, now the story is continuing, but this chapter is closed. We have a rainbow child out there that will appear after the storm. My biggest wish is to maybe meet you one day in heaven. I will pray that Christ makes a presence in your life and I get to be with you someday. I love you, Lily. Your name was based off of our worries and when we found your name, our worries about your adoption melted away. You grew our trust in the Lord. We smile when we think of how you changed us. You did much more for us than we ever knew possible. We grieved and fought and grieved and fought some more. Consider the lilies.... trust... always. I will trust that He walks with you in your life. We love you and hope you are a treasured daughter in China.

Love,
Your biggest prayer warrior

Reassurance

On Tuesday , we heard some disturbing news that you may not know you are being adopted. Then, we got another report that says you do. So, we aren't sure, but we will know when we get you! That was Tuesday and Tuesday was a hard day. Tuesday tried to steal our joy, but God showed out in an amazing way.

When we got our first update in March, we immediately asked what name you went by. They told us you went by Xin Li (which means new beauty) or Xiao Li, which Xiao means little and Li means beauty. So, we just call you XinLi or Lily,as a family. We planned on calling you by your given name for a few days upon our meeting you and gradually we will work our way to Lily. So, Tuesday night we heard that you actually are called "LiLi". We couldn't believe it. Pronounced "Lee Lee", it is so close to "Lily". This was definitely not a coincidence as God so clearly laid "Lily" on my heart. He basically chose this name for you. Of course, He knew all along!!!! Finding out about your nickname made all my anxiety melt.

You're ours. He knows.

He has us in the palm of His hands. Thanks to God for reassuring us, when He shouldn't have to reassure.
What a precious name. ....LiLi.

We love you and are daily praying for you as a family. May your heart be accepting and may we be able to keep in touch with your foster family of eight years - the only family you've ever known. We have also heard that they love you fiercely and are having a hard time coming to grips that they will have to say "goodbye" to you. It hurts me so deeply, but makes me so happy that you are already a treasured daughter, even if not legally. They love you and we are so blessed for that!!!

We will be leaving for China in 18 days and we will meet you 24. Unreal. We are so close to having you forever!

Until we meet,
Mama

Fish and seaweed and eel - OH, my.

We had a fantastic field trip at Cheekwood in Nashville Wednesday at the homeschool day.

We played in a waterfall, toured the former home, visited the art gallery, played in the awesome playground castle, learned about snakes, saw the most beautiful flowers, and ate hotdogs picnic style on the green grass with friends we ran into - what a surprise!!! :-).

After Cheekwood, we decided to go to the Asian market to help Joy have a taste of China and to pick you up a few staples to have around the house. Joy was LOVING this trip.

She picked seaweed chips, rice crackers, rice cookies, bamboo, canned sugar cane, noodles, corn puffs (and they really taste just like corn.. I had those in China and was surprised at the taste), longyan fruit, more seaweed chips (tastes like rotting fish to me, YUCK), pocky sticks, haw hamburger (this name kills me. It's a fruit cookie) and more and more. We then headed over to the FISH.

We wanted to get you a start on some canned fish.
We heard you like the fish and anything spicy, so of course we bought the spicy fish!

Meilin and Samantha told us eel would be popular, so we bought some of that, too.

GULP.

Joy would literally squeal when she saw something she had eaten before in China. She was a happy girl!
We Loved the fresh produce and now that I know this produce is safe, we will mainly go for it next time!

The seafood and fresh fish were a hit with the kids!

Thank goodness Joy didn't choose the preserved duck eggs, whole octopus or the instant jellyfish.
We are trying out VERY best to help Joy be surrounded by Chinese adoptees and to bring some comforts from her former homeland to help in this transition. We will do the very same for you. The other kids love learning about where their sisters came from. We are gearing up for Mid-Autumn moon festival soon. Hoping to go celebrate with other Chinese- Americans in Nashville, but it will be close to our travel date, so we will have to see how much we can get done before then. Our head is swirling with things to do before you get here.
We just want to drop everything and leave yesterday... Ha! we have decided to leave 4 weeks and three days from today! We are so excited and counting down the days- 37 to be exact until you're in our arms! We leave in 31 days!!! EEEEK!

We are ALMOST there,
Mama

Visas!!!!

FOUR little visas came in the mail this week to get ready to meet you!!!!!!!! We love you dearly, Lily!
All of our paperwork was picked up from the Consulate in Guangzhou today by our agency rep and overnighted to Beijing! We are now finally awaiting travel approval! When we get travel approval, we apply for our consulate appointment Ns depending when that is, is when we will leave. So close we are! After the CA is confirmed, we can book planes, trains and automobiles (and boats). Seriously, we will have a boat ride. Lol. We will be in taxis and I am hoping for a subway ride as well to seal the transportation deal. All that's left is a moped. 🤔
We are coming, Lily!!! We really are!!!